Want to be sure your next flight is safe? Now you can get rid of those nervous travel jitters FOREVER. Call 1-800-cool-n-calm and we will send you two ATP pilots equipped with personal laptops who will guarantee your next safe arrival. Your flight may land an hour late, but, what the heck, most flights aren't on-time anyway.
How do we do it? Simple. Most pilots anguish too much about the next safe arrival, By focusing on next month's schedule instead, our cool-n-calm crews eliminate the need for nerve-wracking communication with ATC, and having to notify the flight attendants to prepare passengers for the next landing. We won't even tell the pilots they'll never fly again until everyone else has de-boarded.
What is the secret to our success? It is a trade secret that goes back to the time-honored tradition established by our founder, Captain Johnny "Sky-Rocket" Morgan whose last words were, "When I die, I want to die peacefully ... in my sleep ... not screaming like my passengers in the back of the plane."
Call 1-800-cool-n-calm today.
-Ed
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